Conversation in Faith

This Thanksgiving – I know Thanksgiving was two days ago, I had pie to eat, okay?

This Thanksgiving I am grateful for nothing. Yes, that’s right. I am grateful for nothing.

This past summer my life and my family’s life was stressful. I was having a hard time praying- couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t focus. If I am honest, I really didn’t even want to pray. I didn’t have the mental and emotional energy. What I ended up doing was taking my morning coffee, sitting in the screen porch with Peppy the cat and watching the sun come up and listening to the birds. That’s it. I just sat. I just sat there drinking coffee and listening to birds.

No list making.

No problem solving.

No worrying.

No planing.

No nothing. Sometimes I had a book on my lap so it looked like I was doing something. But really I was just sitting there.

I wasn’t alone. Peppy the cat was there. And God was there.  But we didn’t need to talk. So there was no talking, and no listening.  I simple needed to be. God understands that.  And so that is what we did. God, Peppy and I just sat.  Nothing dramatic happened. My problems didn’t disappear. No insights. No epiphanies. I just sat and drank coffee with God and Peppy the cat. Sitting for a bit each day was sufficient.

In retrospect, sitting with God and Peppy the cat was exactly what I needed to do. What I needed to do was nothing. It is a minor miracle that I allowed myself to do nothing. I’m better at doing, at least I am more comfortable doing. Slowly, quietly, as summer turned into fall, I had a little something to say. Slowly, quietly, I was able to listen. It took me until October to realize what happened this summer when nothing was happening.

Nothing happened in the early morning hours this summer. I simply had the space to be. Not do. Just be. And so this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for nothing.