Treat Them Like Gentiles and Tax Collectors: Revisited

In 2011 I wrote “Treat Them Like Gentiles and Tax Collectors” which is one of my most read and commented upon posts. This Sunday’s gospel reading is the text, Matthew 18:15-20, that post discusses. I thought it would be interesting to write about this text again. I didn’t re read my original blog before writing this one, so we’ll see if my perspective has changed. If you are interested, the original post is here.

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How to manage conflict and bad or harmful behavior has always been a struggle for us humans.

Jesus outlines a way of managing conflict and bad behavior in Matthew 18:15-20. Sometimes this text is used as the warrant for excommunicating, or disfellowshipping someone. Some of us want to strictly and comprehensively set the rules for how we behave as Christians. It seems to be deeply part of our human nature to enforce certain behaviors through power and control. This tendency causes us to misinterpret what Jesus is saying here.

Most of us can think of situations where someone (perhaps even ourselves) behaved inappropriately. Perhaps someone’s idea or suggestion wasn’t treated respectfully. Maybe someone was not included in some event or committee when they should have been. Perhaps someone regularly takes your lunch from the office kitchen. Maybe it’s a more serious concern, inappropriate jokes, language that belittles and dismisses someone, taking credit when it belongs to someone else. We can think of all sorts of behaviors that, if left unaddressed damage relationships in workplaces, churches, families, and neighborhoods. As people of faith, Jesus offers a way to address this problem.

Jesus empowers the one wronged to speak up for themselves and to confront the wrongdoer. All of us deserve to be treated respectfully. It’s not helpful or healthy if we avoid conflict in order to get along, or to preserve some shallow sense of unity. Unity needs honesty.

If the wrongdoer does not listen, the one wronged is not to give up. They don’t take “no” for an answer. Rather they begin to enlist the help of “one or two others” and then if needed the entire church. The one wronged is to persist and the rest of us are to help them. Justice matters in both large and small instances of wrongdoing. If they are not taken care of, smaller problems become larger problems.

The goal of this persistence isn’t punishment but the admitting of wrongdoing and reconciliation. If the wrongdoer does not admit to their actions and refuses reconciliation, they are then “to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector”.

The question now is what does that mean? Gentiles and tax collectors were people who were outside the Jewish community. However their outsider status was not permanent and unchangeable. Remember the story of Zacchaeus and Jesus’ meals and conversations with gentiles.This isn’t a call to shun or avoid. In society at that time, it was not possible to avoid gentiles or tax collectors. One had to interact, at some level, with gentiles and tax collectors.

What might this look like today? Perhaps today this is a call for us to figure out how to get along. We may still need to work with the person. Maybe we are going to see them at family gatherings. We don’t need to be best friends, but we need to figure out how to exist in the spaces we share. Today we might use the language of setting proper boundaries.

What about verses 19-20? ” Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” It seems to me that declaring someone a Gentile or tax collector is a serious action, done in community, and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It’s not an automatic “these are the rules” decision but it is a discernment about what is best for all involved. Wrong behavior is not excused but also the possibility of repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation is retained. A way for all to reconnect in a healthy manner with a community remains possible.

As always it is helpful to put these verses back into their larger context. Chapter 18 includes verses about not being a “stumbling block”, the parable of the one lost sheep, today’s text, Peter asking how often to forgive ( seventy times seven) and the parable of the unforgiving slave. Each of these interprets the others.

We are called to be aware of how our actions affect others and to take that responsibility seriously. If someone wrongs us, we are to speak up and seek justice. We are to help others seek justice. There is a strong emphasis on the importance of forgiveness. This is all difficult to do. And it is also how we are called to live as followers of Jesus.

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Often people are legitimately concerned about how Jesus’ words apply to serious wrongdoing- Abuse, rape, murder, and more. These are serious situations and they must be taken seriously. I certainly don’t claim to have answers for these difficult situations. It seems to me, without exception, people’s safety (physical, mental, and spiritual) comes first. If serious wrongdoing is suspected of being committed- if laws are broken, if church rules about conduct are broken – the proper authorities must be notified. Dismissing a person’s accusation, or covering up wrongdoing, is sinful and wrong. Reconciliation that results in a relationship is not wise or safe in some instances. No one should be coerced or forced into a relationship where they feel unsafe. People can repent. People can forgive. And neither requires the resumption of a personal relationship. In situations of serious transgressions, even with repentance and forgiveness, it might be best for the wrongdoer to be in a different community and for them to be open and clear with that new community about their past.