Peppy’s Hospitality

Peppy is a very old cat. We adopted her about 15 years ago. Our youngest child had been asking for a kitten and finally, we said, “Yes”. Off we went to the Humane Society to pick out a kitten. My youngest picked out a kitten, Stevie -who as it turns out is part cat, part raccoon. But her story is for another day. The Humane Society, sneaky folks that they were, had a “get two cats for the price of one” deal. So…we looked at other cats. Why not? What could happen?

The Humane Society had lots and lots of kittens, it was kitten season. Peppy as an adult cat was surrounded by many, many cute kittens. The competition was stiff. Her chances of adoption weren’t that great. Plus one should always wonder why adult cats are surrendered for adoption. Brace yourself, but sometimes people don’t tell the truth about their pet. We were taking a bit of a chance with Peppy, she might have had some undisclosed bad habits. Was I going to take her back if she did? Unlikely.

What Peppy did was hide under the bed. For months. We just never saw her. Cat food was being eaten. Litter boxes were used. No cat remains were found. But we never saw Peppy. The kids began to call her “the cat we never see”.

I was usually the last one up and awake in our house. I began to occasionally, and only occasionally, see Peppy slink through the dark, quiet hall to the food dish. If I sat very still she wouldn’t get spooked and hide. Ever so slowly she started to not mind being seen by me. Gradually she began coming closer. I had to sit very quietly. As she felt safer, she was able to jump on the far end of the couch. Finally she would sit in my lap. This was the best, just Peppy and me in a quiet house. She would sit in my lap, lean against me, look up at me and purr.

Very slowly she became less afraid of the rest of the family. Ultimately she moved out from under the bed and was comfortable being out in the house. She even let other people pet her. Cats make their own decisions about what happens and how it happens and when it happens. One cannot rush a cat. One must be patient.

Now Peppy is close to 19 years old. She is a very old cat. These days she spends most of her time on the bed. I also made her some stairs, because jumping up on the bed is harder now. But every night, Peppy snuggles up next to me and purrs.

Peppy is looking like an old cat now. She’s thin and more frail. She lost two pounds over the past year, which is a lot when you were 10 pounds at your heaviest. Last week I took Peppy for some blood tests. It’s better to know what’s going on than to not know. At her age my main concern was chronic kidney disease which is very common in old cats. How manageable it is can be quite variable. It’s one of the main causes of death in old cats.

The results? No kidney disease! She has great, normal, midrange kidney values. Other tests were also normal except she has increased thyroid hormone levels. The great news is that hyperthyroidism¹ is very easily treatable. An inexpensive pill every day. I was prepared for some very bad news but she has one of the most treatable old cat illnesses possible. I am really happy about this diagnosis, yes happy and grateful.

When I started planning this post, I first thought about it in terms of love and gratitude, for Peppy and her life and her, pretty decent as these things go, illness. And that’s all true. I love Peppy. She at least likes me- a win in cat terms. And I am grateful she has a treatable medical problem.

The more I thought about our life together, Peppy and me, hospitality seemed to better describe it.

I think hospitality is one way love works itself out in the real world. Love and gratitude can become abstract ideas. Noble concepts, but hard to live out. We often end up with mistaken ideas about what love or gratitude are. It’s easy to do. We are surrounded by poor examples of love and gratitude all the time. Poor theology makes its contribution to mistaken ideas about love and gratitude.

We mistake infatuation for love. Some of us think trying to control the behavior of others is love. Some of us think we can hit the people we love. Some of us think we are owed particular acts of obedience because of gratitude. Some of us think we are owed sex because of love or gratitude. We think pointing out people’s errors is love and people should be grateful for our insight. We also think covering up for people’s mistakes is love. We think letting people do what they want is love. We think buying things for people is love. We confuse our expression of love with the emotion of love. We think the people we love ought to be grateful. We mistake pity or manipulation or charity for love that deserves gratitude.

Love and gratitude are complicated concepts. How particular actions reflect or don’t reflect love and gratitude can be confusing for us. Thinking about love and gratitude using the concept of hospitality can give us a framework for thinking and acting.

Dictionary.com² defines hospitality as ” the friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers. the quality or disposition of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.”

Wikipedia³ says this, “The act or service of welcoming, receiving, hosting, or entertaining guests; an appropriate attitude of openness, respect, and generosity toward guests.

I think a Christian practice of hospitality is more robust than these two definitions, more encompassing. But these are a start. Openness, respect, generous, friendly…welcoming, receiving.

For Peppy and me, our life together has been a series of hospitable actions. Moving back and forth. I gave her a home and the space and security for her to realize she is welcome and safe. She looks into my eyes and purrs- every day. It’s not equal. That would be reciprocity, not hospitality. How can there be reciprocity between a house cat and a human? Peppy has never had the opportunity to rescue me from marauding critters in the wild. She’s never even brought me a mouse, pacifist that she is. (Also grateful for that).

Peppy made space for me in her life. I made space for her. Each of us has given the other what we are able to give. Each of us has received what the other has offered. I am grateful for what Peppy has taught me about hospitality.

1. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/hospitality ↩︎
2. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/hospitality#English ↩︎