Life After Betrayal

Someone betrays you. They say something. They do something. It may be to your face or behind your back. Sooner or later it happens to most of us. Someone or something betrays us. Perhaps it was a friend, or a family member. Maybe it happened at your work or your church. Maybe you feel that your government has betrayed you. Programs, and benefits, civil rights, and legal rights and protections you thought were stable and secure are under threat. People and institutions that we thought we could trust have betrayed us.

Many of us are feeling betrayed. Many of us look to Jesus and the Bible for direction. How should we respond to betrayal?

We need to remember that Jesus and the disciples did not live in a democracy or a republic. They lived in an empire that was a dictatorship. There was no voting. The law was, practically speaking, whatever the emperor said. So Jesus is not an obvious model for how to navigate our times in our particular form of government. And, by the way, neither is Paul. There are also significant cultural and social differences around how individuals were treated that we need to understand and respect. Concerns and attitudes about gender, sexuality, children, migrants, race, work, and social status are different now. We cannot uncritically transplant solutions that worked in Jesus’ day to our times.

But as we often mention here politics is, at its most basic level, about how we live together in community. Do we have a responsibility to each other? And if so, how do we care for each other? Jesus has a lot to say about that. Jesus’ ministry is about how we live into God’s vision and hope for the world in our lives together. The post resurrection stories seem particularly important for us in these days.

Jesus was betrayed. He was betrayed by the people closest to him. He was betrayed by the leaders of his religion. He was betrayed by the government that unjustly murdered him.

What does the resurrected Jesus do? Jesus does not return with an enemy’s list. Jesus does not engage in a revenge tour. He seeks out those who betrayed him, his closest friends and companions but he’s not looking for revenge- he is seeking reconciliation. One common thread throughout the post resurrection appearances is that Jesus is not somewhere waiting for the disciples to see the error of their ways and come begging for Jesus’ forgiveness. Jesus goes to them. Jesus seeks them out. And Jesus does not demand groveling apologies. He doesn’t tell people they were nasty or mean. He doesn’t threaten to cut himself off from them. He doesn’t withhold his presence, his love, or salvation.

What does Jesus show us about life after betrayal?

In John’s gospel after Jesus’ death, Jesus is placed in a tomb. The next day was the Sabbath. The next day, (Sunday) Mary Magdalene went to the tomb, and found the stone rolled away. She went and told Peter and another disciple that the tomb is empty. Peter and the other disciples ran to the tomb and saw that she was correct. They went home. Mary stayed, weeping. She was visited by two angels and then by Jesus- whom she mistook for a gardener. Jesus sent her to the disciples to announce that she had seen the risen Lord. That same night some disciples were locked in a room and Jesus appeared to them¹. A week later Jesus appeared to Thomas and some disciples. Now “After these things” the story continues…

After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias, and he showed himself in this way. Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with our.” They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach, but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, “Children, you have no fish, have you?” They answered him, “No.” He said to them, “Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he had taken it off, and jumped into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off.

When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them, and though there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they know it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, “Follow me.” NRSVUE John 21:1-19

Jesus, once again, sought out the disciples. He found them. This time they were not hiding in a room behind locked doors. They had gone fishing. Perhaps they needed food to eat. Perhaps they didn’t know what to do as disciples, but as fishermen they knew how to fish.

Peter, the one who denied Jesus three times was not ostracized by the other disciples. Did they have sympathy for Peter, given they had distanced themselves from Jesus also? Or were they beginning to understand Jesus call to love and reconciliation? Or did they just not know what else to do? We don’t know. We can wonder. And we can wonder what we would have done in that situation.

Then Jesus showed up. Despite seeing him just a week ago, they still didn’t immediately recognize him. Jesus told the fishless fishermen how to catch fish. And, Jesus came with his own fish. The fish that Jesus brought and the fish the disciples caught, together became their breakfast.

When it was pointed out to Peter that the person on the shore was Jesus, he did an odd thing. We might expect Peter to still be embarrassed or ashamed to face Jesus. We might expect him to offer reasons and excuses for his behavior. We might expect Peter to be hesitant to be in Jesus presence, all things considered. But that’s not what happened. Peter jumped in the water and swam to Jesus.

Impetuous Peter left the others to do the work and row the boat in. Jesus sent him back to get the fish out of the boat. Peter’s eagerness to be with Jesus doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need to do his fair share of the work.

Jesus was with the disciples on the beach and he cooked them breakfast. The risen Lord continued to feed people. He said “Come and have breakfast.” Once again, no recriminations, no accusations, no requirement of repentance. Jesus brought fish and bread. He built a fire and he invited them to breakfast. No revenge tour here. No enemies list. No scores settled.

The text suggests the disciples wanted to ask “Who are you?” and then didn’t. At first glance this seems to be an odd statement. By this time, they knew it was Jesus, so why would they ask? Sometimes when someone acts out of character, we might ask rhetorically, “Who are you?” I’m not a Biblical Greek scholar, and I’m also not an English grammarian, but I wonder if this “Who are you?” is like that. A “What are you doing?” or “Why are you, the Risen Lord, cooking us breakfast?” kind of question. And perhaps coupled with a bit of “Really, you are not mad at us for abandoning you?” And then they remember, this isn’t a “regular” person. It is the Lord. This is Jesus. And so of course he’s feeding them and not seeking revenge.

Then Jesus explicitly affirmed Peter as a disciple and charged Peter to continue doing a disciple’s work. Peter had earlier denied Jesus three times and these three questions, in a reverse way, echo that. Also in the gospels Peter often acts and speaks as a stand-in or on behalf of all the disciples. I wonder if this reaffirmation of Peter also includes all disciples, past, present and future.

Biblical stories have a rich multitude of meanings. In this time of division and betrayal, I find it important to remember the revenge tour that wasn’t. Jesus doesn’t return seeking revenge. He doesn’t shun people. Jesus doesn’t return punishing his betrayers. He doesn’t return to destroy the places where he suffered.

When the risen Christ returns, he seeks out people and invites them to a continued relationship. He commissions them to continue his work in the world- the reconciliation and flourishing of all people.

When we have been betrayed it is hard to not hold onto a grudge. It is hard to forgive completely and not hold onto some amount of caution and skepticism about the intentions and actions of the other². It is hard to fully and completely wish for and work for the well being of others.

And yet…if we are to follow Jesus, this is what he asks us to do.

1. Here is last week’s post about the disciples in the locked room. Last year’s post about Thomas. This year’s post about Mary anointing Jesus ↩︎
2. What the safe limits to reconciliation might be, and the decision to resume a relationship or not, are acts that require discernment and wisdom. For example, in an abusive situation, people may be wise to act with caution and skepticism about the intentions and actions of another. ↩︎