Love One Another. What If I’m Not Ready?

Jesus talked a lot about love. Christians talk a lot about love. But why? People naturally love people they are connected to such as family or friends. Love is so common, why talk so much about it?

Perhaps because it is hard to do. And very hard to do well. So Jesus keeps talking to the disciples about love. He keeps showing the disciples what love looks like.

When he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now the Son of Man has been glorified, and God has been glorified in him. If God has been glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself and will glorify him at once. Little children, I am with you only a little longer. You will look for me; and as I said to the Jews so now I say to you, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come.’ I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:31-35 NRSVUE

Just before this statement John tells us about Jesus washing the disciples feet, and Judas leaving to betray Jesus. The “he” in the text above is Judas. Just after this statement Jesus tells Peter that Peter will deny Jesus three times. The author shows us the tension between discipleship and love and betrayal. People closest to Jesus betrayed him. And Jesus continues to talk about love.

When Judas leaves, we might expect Jesus to say something about betrayal and loyalty, about faithfulness and unfaithfulness. Or about what the consequences of betrayal will be. Instead he talks about glory. In the Bible, talking about God’s glory is a way of talking about the revealing of God’s presence and purposes.¹ “Glory” is used in the past tense and the future tense. God’s very self- God’s presence and purposes are found in Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. God’s glory and Jesus’ glory are not dependent on what anyone does or doesn’t do. God and Jesus have been glorified, are glorified, and will be glorified.

And then Jesus gives the new commandment, to love.

We might wonder is this really a new commandment? God’s command to love goes all the way back to Torah. (Lev 19:18; Deut 6:4) and it is present throughout the gospels. Perhaps we should ask, what is new about this commandment? Has something changed?

What is new is Jesus. The disciples have not only been told what to do. They have seen what to do. They have experienced the love of God in their very lives. The command to love moves past words. It moves past dogma and doctrine. It moves into a new future. They have lived in proximity to the divine power and presence. They have traveled and eaten. They have listened and learned. They have argued and disputed. They have seen the signs, people healed, fed, raised from the dead. They have understood and not understood at all. They have experienced divine love. And now they are called to love each other as Jesus has loved them. They clearly don’t fully understand what this means. Nevertheless they are commanded to start. To begin. To figure it out amongst their very flawed selves.

After Jesus predicts Peter’s betrayal ( John 13:38), we might expect Jesus to now say something about betrayal and loyalty. But he doesn’t. In fact his next words are, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” (John 14:1) As the story continues, Thomas does not understand. Philip does not understand. Jesus continues to talk about love. “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)

There is a Latin phrase, attributed to Augustine², “solvitur ambulando” or “it is solved by walking”. Health benefits of walking aside, often our inclination is to not do something until we feel fully qualified. This inclination is not wrong. We all want our brain surgeon to know what they are doing before they do surgery on our brain.

And yet, sometimes we delay, using our lack of preparedness as an excuse, because what we are called to do is uncomfortable or difficult. We’re not quite ready to be reconciled with our sibling or our friend. We’re not quite ready to speak up for justice. We’re not quite ready to speak out about injustice. What if we don’t know all the facts? What if we get something wrong? What if people criticize us? What if it costs us? Friends, prestige, status, money?

We will never have all the facts. We will never avoid making mistakes. We will never avoid criticism. Jesus doesn’t call his disciples- then or now- to be flawless and perfect. Jesus calls us to be faithful. Jesus calls us to love each other in such a way that everyone will know that we are his disciples. Jesus calls us to act in such a way that everyone will know that we are his disciples.

The love Jesus commands is not the false “love” of coercion. It is not a self satisfied sense of correctness. It is not about making America a Christian nation. It is not about causing harm to migrants. Or to children. Or the hungry. Or the sick. Or the marginalized.

The love Jesus shows us and calls us to embody is love that welcomes³. It’s love that restores relationships. Love that seeks the well being, the shalom, of others even if it is costly to ourselves. The love Jesus calls us to is both personal, between you and I; and communal, between us and the world.

Very few of us are ever ready, ever fully prepared to live like this. Yet we cannot excuse ourselves from this commandment. We begin. We start. We start walking. We do what we can do. We show up where we can show up. We advocate where we can advocate. Our ability to love like Jesus loves will increase with practice. We can and will get better at loving each other. But we need to start. We need to start, knowing we will make mistakes. And knowing that when we miss the mark, with the love and support of the triune God, we can change direction, improve our intention, and continue to grow in love.

1. Carter, Warren, John: Storyteller, Interpreter, Evangelist. Hendrickson Publishers, 206. Joanna Dewey,”Glory” in HarperCollins Bible Dictionary, Paul J. Achtemeier, gen. Ed. 379-380. ↩︎
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solvitur_ambulando ↩︎
3. At the same time, Jesus was not particularly tolerant of the intolerant, and neither should we be. Sometimes this is described as the “Paradox of Tolerance” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance ↩︎